The Wisdom of Will Rogers

  • Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n putting' it back in.

  • If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

  • If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.

  • After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him .The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

  • Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

  • There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

  • Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

  • Don't squat with your spurs on.

  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

  • Always drink upstream from the herd.

  • When you're throwing' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

  • There are three kinds of men:

    • The ones that learn by reading.

    • The few who learn by observation.

    • The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.